Scruffy Micks

Once upon a time people didn’t want to know you
If you chanced to come from the land across the sea
Signs stood in many windows, No Blacks, Dogs or Paddies
And vacancies would say, No Irish Need Apply
But that was long ago, before we hit the nineties
It was quickly cool and trendy and the very latest scene
So get a new accent boys, change your drinking habits
Everybody became Irish, every pub was turning green

So grab your shillelagh, put a feather in your felt hat
Get on down to Scruffy Mick’s and put yourself about
There’ll be colleens a-plenty and a man with a banjo
Singing Saw Doctors’ songs while drinking pints of stout
There’ll be Guinness with a shamrock 
Shane McGowan on the jukebox
And plenty of craic to help you pop your cork
And if you close your eyes and imagine for a second
You could almost be in … New York

But the passing of time made a young idea older 
Fashions quickly change with the seasons, so I’m told
The trick is to stay one step ahead of your rivals
And the hottest of hot things will soon enough turn cold
The craze for all things Celtic gets tossed into the big skip
Long before the green paint has started to crack
Next year we will be into all things that are Russian 
So buy a big warm coat and a jolly furry hat

Then grab your Cossack sword, with a cry of na zdorovye*
Get on down to the Boris Bar and give yourself a treat
There’ll be Svetlanas a-plenty and a man with a balalaika
Playing Doctor Zhivago themes, whilst drinking vodka neat
There’ll be a state circus act
Cheap trips to Vladivostock
And plenty of ballet (though inevitably bland)
And if you close your eyes and imagine for a second
You could almost be in …… Dismal-land